LIFE PRO TIP(S): 10 ways to survive the Happy Birthday song at work.
- For starters, you should have requested the day off to avoid all of this.
- Smile and sway to the angelic harmonies of your co-workers. Remind yourself this will not happen again for another 364 days.
- Identify who coordinated this thoughtful surprise. Stare at this person intensely for the entirety of the song.
- When you see the group forming, leave for an early/late lunch. Return the following business day.
- Tell them you are a Jehovah’s Witness and you don’t condone the pagan ritual that is being forced upon you in the workplace. (No offense to JWs, I got this info from an official website.)
- Think about the cake that you will soon be forced to cut and serve. If you’re picky about your cake flavor or don’t like cake at all, drop a few massive hints during the week to let your co-workers know what your favorite treat really is. FYI, mine is mint chocolate chip ice cream cake.
Googled ‘Ice Cream Cake’, got a giant cat. - Learn to play the harmonica. Keep it in your desk drawer. You can also use your new talent when you are forced to participate in a co-worker’s birthday fandango.
- Stare at the candles while thinking of your birthday wish on repeat until it’s time to blow. Make that wish count, wishes do come true!
- Create confusion by standing up and singing along as if it’s someone else’s birthday.
- If you’re the boss, tell them they’re all fired. Laugh. Let them ponder this “joke” while you serve them cake.
