Your most valuable information comes directly from the employees themselves. As the saying goes, “you don’t know what you don’t know”. This December, Star Wars fans will be seeing Rogue One: A Star Wars Story in theaters, which will tell the story of a rebel group that embarked on a mission to steal secret plans for the infamous Death Star weapon of mass destruction. Turns out this thing is HUGE and it takes a whole lot of work to keep the Death Star operational.
Here are the TOP 12 DEATH STAR EMPLOYEE COMPLAINTS that could have been avoided with better planning:
- We need more handrails!
This is beyond dangerous and a violation of occupational safety standards, even in galaxies far, far away.
- Trash monster has not been attended to after numerous complaints.
Dirty jobs are tough enough as it is, please call an exterminator right away if this type of complaint is received.
- Mysterious and disturbing sexual harassment.
“On numerous occasions my ass has been groped but when I turn around no one is present. One time, Darth Vader was acting suspiciously around the corner, but he claimed to not have witnessed the incident.” – name retracted
Every employee, including top leaders, must adhere to sexual harassment policies and guidelines. No exceptions.
- Leadership Team often reacts violently when challenged.
Consider investing in life coaches for top leaders. While someone like Yoda or Maz Kanata may not align with the Empire’s culture, there must be someone out there that can help.
- We need more break rooms!
The Death Star is HUGE. Some say it is up to 100 miles in diameter and it can take up to 2 hours for an employee to travel to their nearest break room. Consider putting smaller break rooms in between larger work zones. Adding meditation rooms and coffee vending droids can make a big impact on employee satisfaction.
- Lack of diversity.
Sure, there are “official reasons” why storm troopers take the human form, but there are plenty of jobs on the Death Star. Encourage hiring managers to consider a broader set of candidates that include more species. A group of Jawas could really benefit the way you source and sell products in the supply shop, for example.
- Cafeteria food sucks.
It’s bad enough that the trays are always wet and the utensils are always crusty. Invest in healthy, quality ingredients to make sure your employees are well fed and ready to take on their next work shift. Hangry employees are angry employees.
- Better training needed.
Stormtroopers are ALWAYS missing their targets when shooting at intruders. We don’t feel safe!
This one’s pretty self explanatory. Better training = better outcome.
- Poor work/life balance!
Why is the holonet restricted during off-hours?!
Keep in mind that 95% of Deathstar employees – technicians, IT, janitorial, etc. – live on site. Remember, these employees have families back home. They should have access to the holonet for communicating with family, staying updated with news from their home planets, and online gaming.
- Not enough presence and communication from Emperor Palpatine to staff.
Whether good or evil, the leader at the top of the totem pole needs to have a presence within the entire organization. Consider a monthly all-hands via hologram projection, to provide major updates while encouraging Q&A .
- Hiring team promised perks and amenities…
but we were put to work before the facility was fully operational. Not cool!
Bottom line, don’t promise perks and benefits you can’t deliver. Be realistic and upfront about the workplace situation even if there are future plans on the horizon. If you don’t have nap pods yet, don’t say you do.
- Frequent power outages!
We are never given a warning or heads up when the planet-destroying laser fires. It can take up to 48 hours for power to be restored in the lower halls and barracks, argh!
Communication is vital when it comes to anything that will cause a major impact on your employees. Give plenty of notice before such an event occurs. Provide solutions and support, before and after.